Lost your Libido? Tips to Get Back into the Mood for Sex

As a gynecologist, I have an opportunity to talk to patients about very sensitive issues. Today, libido was the subject of two patient visits. (Some days, it is more.)

I had two patients -- one in her 30's and one in her late 40's -- with the same issue: Libido lost. These ladies are both committed to their husbands and to their marriages but neither one has the urge for sex.

I spent some time talking to these ladies about this issue. In both cases, we came to the same conclusion. Make time for sex. JUST DO IT!! No more excuses.

It is time to regain control of your life (and your sex life). How many of you schedule a yoga class, a spin class, spa days? Well........is it too much to ask you to put the same time into the most precious of all your relationships?

Ask yourself this most important question first. Do you still love him? If the answer is yes, then prove it. That's right, prove it. Men are simple beasts. They equate sex with how much you love him. Give them "luv and grub" and they are good to go. (True or not, guys?)

Now, there are those people (although few) who have low testosterone levels. In the same way that this reduces a man's sexual drive, it can reduce a woman's drive. One of my patients today was just such a case. She was on testosterone and felt a definite improvement in her libido. She has now weaned off and has low normal testosterone levels. Her libido is now down again.

The good thing about her is that she is aware that she has not given enough effort to her sexual relationship. She says she feels like a "prude". We spoke about this and agree that this is a CHOICE. You can choose to practice not being a prude. Here are some tips to help.

1. Take some chances.
Go to the adult toy store with your man, fondle him in public (but be sure no one is watching), take a pole dance class.

Remember, life is about baby steps. You can't change your habits over night. And it is a habit. You are in the habit of being a prude. Life is short. You are wasting your precious time and the time of your beloved man. If anyone has some ideas on how to "spice it up", they are welcome here.

2. Consider therapy.
If you feel that your issues with sex are about your own inhibitions or "prudishness", maybe you should start out going to therapy alone then bring your man in for later sessions. If the issues are due to marital concerns, poor communication, etc. .....make it a couple's session from the beginning.

Let's hear some more thoughts on this sensitive issue, and we will address solutions in more detail later.