This is a common theme among women (and men) who come to me for their aesthetic concerns. Many of my aesthetic patients are also my gyn patients so I have the opportunity to talk with them about a variety of concerns. Often, they find themselves back in the dating world and looking in the mirror and trying to see themselves as others do.
Some people have found themselves back in the job pool with the hard economic times and are in competition with younger candidates. This can be a daunting thought and they come to me looking for relatively inexpensive ways to appear younger and more vibrant. Simple rejuvenation procedures can give them the confidence they need.
A common complaint is the development of deep lines around the nose and mouth. These are referred to as nasolabial folds and can make the face appear aged. Many people mistakenly believe that the treatment for this is simply injecting filler products into the folds. Although this is often necessary as part of the treatment, it is not the primary "fix". The cause of these lines is often a loss of fat support in the face and especially the cheeks. The solution is to fill both these areas to give a natural appearance and to restore the youthful glow to the face.
Some people are born with naturally beautiful cheeks but many of are not, and those who are often lose them with age. There is hope.
What are common solutions to deep nasolabial folds and loss of facial volume?
1. Fat.
Fat transfer from one part of the body into the face. These results can be long lasting and one to three sessions are generally required.
2. Hylaronic acids.
Perlane is a good product to use in this case as it can add more volume than the other hyalronic acids. The results can be six months to 1 year.
3. Radiesse.
This is a product ideally suited to adding colume and contour to the cheeks. It is a particular favorite of mine. The result is a healthy looking, contoured appearance typical of more youthful cheeks. Radiesse may last as long as 1-1.5 years.
Contact aesthetic specialists for a complimentary consultation at 561-802-5352
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Four Ways to Look, Feel Better after Divorce
I had a great conversation with patient yesterday. She is going though a marital separation and now a divorce. She had questions about entering the dating world in her 40's.
We spoke about safe sex and this subject made her a little uncomfortable. She has been with one man for a lot of years and does not know how to broach such a conversation. I gave her some clear ideas but mostly I advised her to JUST DO IT! She got tested for all the STD's and will make any future partner do the same.
We also spoke about ways to make herself feel and look more attractive and less tired. Studies have show that women who are going through the trauma of divorce can look older. There are several relatively inexpensive aesthetic procedures which can accomplish this goal.
1. IPL photorejuvenation.
In my opinion, this has the most "bang for the buck"! It has wow factor and will remove sunspots and age spots and give you a even and clear complexion.
2. Laser hair removal.
So many ladies ask me about the current trends in intimate hair reduction. WELL....I find that anything goes but a clean cut look is definitely the way of the present.
3. Botox.
It is fairly reasonably priced and makes you look rested and younger.
4. Dermal fillers.
These can restore the volume lost from your face and this can completely rejuvenate your appearance.
Don't give up on yourself just because you have lost your man. You have a lot of life to live, and we can help you live it with confidence.
If you want to learn more about these procedures, visit aestheticspecialists.net.
We spoke about safe sex and this subject made her a little uncomfortable. She has been with one man for a lot of years and does not know how to broach such a conversation. I gave her some clear ideas but mostly I advised her to JUST DO IT! She got tested for all the STD's and will make any future partner do the same.
We also spoke about ways to make herself feel and look more attractive and less tired. Studies have show that women who are going through the trauma of divorce can look older. There are several relatively inexpensive aesthetic procedures which can accomplish this goal.
1. IPL photorejuvenation.
In my opinion, this has the most "bang for the buck"! It has wow factor and will remove sunspots and age spots and give you a even and clear complexion.
2. Laser hair removal.
So many ladies ask me about the current trends in intimate hair reduction. WELL....I find that anything goes but a clean cut look is definitely the way of the present.
3. Botox.
It is fairly reasonably priced and makes you look rested and younger.
4. Dermal fillers.
These can restore the volume lost from your face and this can completely rejuvenate your appearance.
Don't give up on yourself just because you have lost your man. You have a lot of life to live, and we can help you live it with confidence.
If you want to learn more about these procedures, visit aestheticspecialists.net.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Five Ways to Get Rid of Facial Wrinkles
What are dermal fillers?
Dermal fillers are used to fill or replace the lost volume in static wrinkles, lines, and folds. They do not affect facial muscle contraction as does Botox.
Generally, dermal fillers are used in the treatment of wrinkles, lines, and folds that appear at rest, rather than those that appear during facial expression. Facial volume loss is one of the key factors in the aging process, and dermal fillers can help to replenish this lost volume and rejuvenate the face
Which filler is right for me?
It is important to know that not all injectable dermal fillers are created equal, and each has specific purposes for which it is best suited. Here are some guidelines to assist in the determination of which product is appropriate in a given situation but the final decisions rests with your qualified physician and yourself.
Hyaluronic acids are fillers used to fill and smooth moderate to severe facial wrinkles and folds. Hyaluronic acids come in many forms and can be used to change to contours of the face as well as reduce wrinkles.
Hyaluronic acid is a natural substance in the body that helps maintain skin volume and hydration as well as joint lubrication and cushioning.
Hyaluronic acid retains moisture, absorbing more than 1,000 times its weight in water. It also binds with collagen and elastin, transporting essential nutrients to these fibers which make up much of the support structure of the skin. The hyaluronic acid in the dermal fillers listed here is not derived from animal sources.
Examples of hyaluronic acids available in the United States include:
1. Juvaderm.
Used for moderate to severe wrinkles. Juvaderm is also available in modified versions which are useful for adding volume to lift and contour the face.
2. Restylane.
Restylane is for moderate wrinkles.
3. Perlane.
It is made by the same company as Restylane but the difference is that the gel particles are larger and, therefore, Perlane is more effective at filling deeper folds and increasing facial fullness.
Other dermal fillers offered by Aesthetic Specialists...
4. Radiesse.
It is made from calcium-based microspheres suspended in a water-based gel. Radiesse provides both immediate and extended results as it stimulates production of collagen and encourages tissue regeneration is most commonly used for the smoothing of nasolabial folds and marionette lines, cheek augmentation, and tear troughs. Care should be taken when injecting Radiesse as it is a longer lasting product.
5. Autologous Fat.
Autologous fat is simply fat harvested from one's own body. Its use eliminates the risks of allergic reaction or rejection by the body, since it is one's own tissue. However, not all of the live fat cells survive when transplanted into the new site, so a fairly high rate of re-absorption can be expected. Because of this, the physician will often overfill the area being treated, which can leave the patient with a result that may look -- at least temporarily -- abnormal. Final results may require two to three sessions.
How do I get Dermal fillers?
Make an appointment with Aesthetic Specialists of the Palm Beaches for a complimentary consultation. We are happy to assist you with your aesthetic evaluation and treatment.
Dermal fillers are used to fill or replace the lost volume in static wrinkles, lines, and folds. They do not affect facial muscle contraction as does Botox.
Generally, dermal fillers are used in the treatment of wrinkles, lines, and folds that appear at rest, rather than those that appear during facial expression. Facial volume loss is one of the key factors in the aging process, and dermal fillers can help to replenish this lost volume and rejuvenate the face
Which filler is right for me?
It is important to know that not all injectable dermal fillers are created equal, and each has specific purposes for which it is best suited. Here are some guidelines to assist in the determination of which product is appropriate in a given situation but the final decisions rests with your qualified physician and yourself.
Hyaluronic acids are fillers used to fill and smooth moderate to severe facial wrinkles and folds. Hyaluronic acids come in many forms and can be used to change to contours of the face as well as reduce wrinkles.
Hyaluronic acid is a natural substance in the body that helps maintain skin volume and hydration as well as joint lubrication and cushioning.
Hyaluronic acid retains moisture, absorbing more than 1,000 times its weight in water. It also binds with collagen and elastin, transporting essential nutrients to these fibers which make up much of the support structure of the skin. The hyaluronic acid in the dermal fillers listed here is not derived from animal sources.
Examples of hyaluronic acids available in the United States include:
1. Juvaderm.
Used for moderate to severe wrinkles. Juvaderm is also available in modified versions which are useful for adding volume to lift and contour the face.
2. Restylane.
Restylane is for moderate wrinkles.
3. Perlane.
It is made by the same company as Restylane but the difference is that the gel particles are larger and, therefore, Perlane is more effective at filling deeper folds and increasing facial fullness.
Other dermal fillers offered by Aesthetic Specialists...
4. Radiesse.
It is made from calcium-based microspheres suspended in a water-based gel. Radiesse provides both immediate and extended results as it stimulates production of collagen and encourages tissue regeneration is most commonly used for the smoothing of nasolabial folds and marionette lines, cheek augmentation, and tear troughs. Care should be taken when injecting Radiesse as it is a longer lasting product.
5. Autologous Fat.
Autologous fat is simply fat harvested from one's own body. Its use eliminates the risks of allergic reaction or rejection by the body, since it is one's own tissue. However, not all of the live fat cells survive when transplanted into the new site, so a fairly high rate of re-absorption can be expected. Because of this, the physician will often overfill the area being treated, which can leave the patient with a result that may look -- at least temporarily -- abnormal. Final results may require two to three sessions.
How do I get Dermal fillers?
Make an appointment with Aesthetic Specialists of the Palm Beaches for a complimentary consultation. We are happy to assist you with your aesthetic evaluation and treatment.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
How to Get Rid of Wrinkles with Botox
What is the history of Botox?
As early as the 1950’s researchers discovered that they could smooth wrinkle lines by injecting an overactive muscle with small quantities of a toxin called Botulinum Type A. The injection decreased muscle activity by blocking the release of a chemical called acetylcholine, which activates the muscle. The toxin injection kept the muscle from contracting for four to six months, making wrinkles less noticeable during that time.
Alan Scott, a San Francisco ophthalmologist, first used tiny doses of the toxin to treat strabismus and blepharospasm (movement disorders of the eye) Allergan, Inc., a pharmaceutical company that focused on prescription eye therapies and contact lens products, bought the rights to the drug in 1988 and received FDA approval in 1989. Allergan renamed the drug BOTOX® Cosmetic.
If you think you're having an allergic reaction or other unusual symptoms, such as difficulty swallowing, speaking or breathing, call your doctor immediately. Patients with certain neuromuscular disorders such as ALS, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome may be at increased risk of serious side effects.
How long do the effects of Botox last?
Generally, the effects take two to five days to appear. The effects can last as long as four to five months.
As early as the 1950’s researchers discovered that they could smooth wrinkle lines by injecting an overactive muscle with small quantities of a toxin called Botulinum Type A. The injection decreased muscle activity by blocking the release of a chemical called acetylcholine, which activates the muscle. The toxin injection kept the muscle from contracting for four to six months, making wrinkles less noticeable during that time.
Alan Scott, a San Francisco ophthalmologist, first used tiny doses of the toxin to treat strabismus and blepharospasm (movement disorders of the eye) Allergan, Inc., a pharmaceutical company that focused on prescription eye therapies and contact lens products, bought the rights to the drug in 1988 and received FDA approval in 1989. Allergan renamed the drug BOTOX® Cosmetic.
Botox showed its cosmetic potential when patients being treated for their eye conditions began noticing their wrinkles softening after treatment, The toxin that could help them with those conditions also stopped their muscles from forming wrinkles. This serendipitous discovery was made by Vancouver-based cosmetic surgeons and husband and wife team, Drs. Alastair and Jean Carruthers, who observed the softening of patients' frown lines following treatment for eye muscle disorders. Their research led to clinical trials and FDA approval for cosmetic use in April 2002. As of 2006, BOTOX® Cosmetic injection is the most common cosmetic procedure in the United States.
How does Botox work?
Small amounts of sterile, purified Botox are injected into specific muscles and muscle groups. Botox prevents nerve cells from signaling muscles to contract , which temporarily softens lines and wrinkles.
What are the medical applications of Botox?
1. Reduction of abnormal head position and neck pain.
2. Treatment of strabismus (crossed eyes) and spasms of the eyelids or uncontrollable blinking.
3. Treatment of severe underarm sweating.
4. Treatment of migraine headaches.
5. Gynecologic uses include relief of vaginal spasm causing pain on intercourse.
What are the cosmetic applications of Botox?
Botox can iron out wrinkles earned over years of repetitive facial movements, such as smiling and frowning, concentrating and squinting. In addition to treating the most popular complaints (furrows between the eyebrows, crow's feet and forehead lines), women in particular get botox injections to correct some imperfections of their lips and necks. Recently, botox has found yet another use: a "chemical brow lift" to restore the arch to falling eyebrows.
Is Botox safe?
BOTOX® Cosmetic is administered by physicians and is available only by prescription. When used properly and administered by a qualified physician, Botox Cosmetic is generally considered safe.
The most common side effects for Botox patients are temporary eyelid droop and nausea. Localized pain, infection, inflammation, tenderness, swelling, redness, and/or bleeding/bruising may be associated with the injection.
Serious side effects are rare. According to Allergan which is the company that produces BOTOX: “Serious heart problems and serious allergic reactions have been reported rarely in BOTOX® Cosmetic treatment.
How does Botox work?
Small amounts of sterile, purified Botox are injected into specific muscles and muscle groups. Botox prevents nerve cells from signaling muscles to contract , which temporarily softens lines and wrinkles.
What are the medical applications of Botox?
1. Reduction of abnormal head position and neck pain.
2. Treatment of strabismus (crossed eyes) and spasms of the eyelids or uncontrollable blinking.
3. Treatment of severe underarm sweating.
4. Treatment of migraine headaches.
5. Gynecologic uses include relief of vaginal spasm causing pain on intercourse.
What are the cosmetic applications of Botox?
Botox can iron out wrinkles earned over years of repetitive facial movements, such as smiling and frowning, concentrating and squinting. In addition to treating the most popular complaints (furrows between the eyebrows, crow's feet and forehead lines), women in particular get botox injections to correct some imperfections of their lips and necks. Recently, botox has found yet another use: a "chemical brow lift" to restore the arch to falling eyebrows.
Is Botox safe?
BOTOX® Cosmetic is administered by physicians and is available only by prescription. When used properly and administered by a qualified physician, Botox Cosmetic is generally considered safe.
The most common side effects for Botox patients are temporary eyelid droop and nausea. Localized pain, infection, inflammation, tenderness, swelling, redness, and/or bleeding/bruising may be associated with the injection.
Serious side effects are rare. According to Allergan which is the company that produces BOTOX: “Serious heart problems and serious allergic reactions have been reported rarely in BOTOX® Cosmetic treatment.
If you think you're having an allergic reaction or other unusual symptoms, such as difficulty swallowing, speaking or breathing, call your doctor immediately. Patients with certain neuromuscular disorders such as ALS, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome may be at increased risk of serious side effects.
How long do the effects of Botox last?
Generally, the effects take two to five days to appear. The effects can last as long as four to five months.
Make an appointment with Aesthetic Specialists of the Palm Beaches for a complimentary consultation. We are happy to assist you with your aesthetic evaluation and treatment.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Suggestions for Him to Help Get You in the Mood
It occurs to me that some of my comments should be directed to the men in our lives. The trick is getting him to read and obey! :)
I can aid women in how to change their sex lives and improve their relationship because I have been there. My suggestions to men can only be based on endless conversations with friends on the subject. As a gynecologist I get little time to counsel men in such a setting.
What I can say is this....................please stop telling us we are abnormal. I have mentioned this is previous posts. I don't want to belabor the point.
Also, even if you admit it to know one, consider the idea that women are called upon to multi-task on a daily basis. Even in my own relationship (where no kids are involved), I feel as though I have to completely coordinate the minute and not so minute details of the daily lives of two people.
When did you become helpless? It is simple, if you want sex on a regular basis, relieve the burden on our lives on a regular basis. If this is too much for you (which may be the case as men are less able to multi-task typically), then PLEASE! Do not hassle us for not having everything done and being in the mood.
Example, my boyfriend in a matter of five minutes asked me to:
1. Calculate some figures ( he could have done this).
2. Finds his keys (hmm!).
3. Get ready to go and be ready in 15 minutes.
4. Put his surf clothes in the wash (now).
And he wanted me to get all pretty for our night out. Hey! I love that we went out and I did not have to cook but it was him that kept us on the beach until late in the day and leaving no time for getting pretty. Does anyone else out there relate to this?
REALLY?? The funny thing is...he wanted it all done simultaneously. This is a small example of the reality of our life together. And he wants me to be in a great mood and ready for sex at the snap of a finger? Are you kidding me?
Funny thing is, I followed my own advice and DID it anyway! And guess what? It was nice. That does not take away from the fact that men have unrealistic expectations of women.
The other fact is.........we as women created this illusion that we were at their beck and call. Think back. When you first got together, how often did you say no? How often did you cook a meal for him when you know you hate to cook? Did you iron his shirts with a silly grin on your face because this beautiful creature allowed you to iron HIS shirt. Ah. Swoon!
Ladies:
Don't pretend to be a superwoman because sooner or later, your powers will wear this and he won't understand why all of a sudden he has to fend for himself int he cruel hard world. Be who you are from the very beginning. Say no!! Most likely, he will be OK with it. If not, why would yo bother? Don't sell yourself short.
Men:
Be patient. Be kind. And think about pencilling your self in between the laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, kids baths, paying bills, and carpools. Or better yet, take on some of these chores and let us take a bath, fix our hair, and do our nails. Maybe then we can be the woman you fell in love with.
I can aid women in how to change their sex lives and improve their relationship because I have been there. My suggestions to men can only be based on endless conversations with friends on the subject. As a gynecologist I get little time to counsel men in such a setting.
What I can say is this....................please stop telling us we are abnormal. I have mentioned this is previous posts. I don't want to belabor the point.
Also, even if you admit it to know one, consider the idea that women are called upon to multi-task on a daily basis. Even in my own relationship (where no kids are involved), I feel as though I have to completely coordinate the minute and not so minute details of the daily lives of two people.
When did you become helpless? It is simple, if you want sex on a regular basis, relieve the burden on our lives on a regular basis. If this is too much for you (which may be the case as men are less able to multi-task typically), then PLEASE! Do not hassle us for not having everything done and being in the mood.
Example, my boyfriend in a matter of five minutes asked me to:
1. Calculate some figures ( he could have done this).
2. Finds his keys (hmm!).
3. Get ready to go and be ready in 15 minutes.
4. Put his surf clothes in the wash (now).
And he wanted me to get all pretty for our night out. Hey! I love that we went out and I did not have to cook but it was him that kept us on the beach until late in the day and leaving no time for getting pretty. Does anyone else out there relate to this?
REALLY?? The funny thing is...he wanted it all done simultaneously. This is a small example of the reality of our life together. And he wants me to be in a great mood and ready for sex at the snap of a finger? Are you kidding me?
Funny thing is, I followed my own advice and DID it anyway! And guess what? It was nice. That does not take away from the fact that men have unrealistic expectations of women.
The other fact is.........we as women created this illusion that we were at their beck and call. Think back. When you first got together, how often did you say no? How often did you cook a meal for him when you know you hate to cook? Did you iron his shirts with a silly grin on your face because this beautiful creature allowed you to iron HIS shirt. Ah. Swoon!
Ladies:
Don't pretend to be a superwoman because sooner or later, your powers will wear this and he won't understand why all of a sudden he has to fend for himself int he cruel hard world. Be who you are from the very beginning. Say no!! Most likely, he will be OK with it. If not, why would yo bother? Don't sell yourself short.
Men:
Be patient. Be kind. And think about pencilling your self in between the laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, kids baths, paying bills, and carpools. Or better yet, take on some of these chores and let us take a bath, fix our hair, and do our nails. Maybe then we can be the woman you fell in love with.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Radiesse Can Help You Look Younger, Feel Better
Dermal fillers can satisfy so many aesthetic and gynecologic roles. One of these fillers and gaining in popularity is Radiesse. Though I like all the hyaloronic acids and their individual functions, I find that Radiesse can accomplish much of what my patients are looking for.
It is a wonderful product to give volume to the cheeks. The loss of fat in the face is largely responsible for the aged appearance our face may take on with age. Radiesse is a l
onger-lasting, smooth product which can be used for volume replacement.
It also can be used for lip enhancement, naso-labial folds, hand enhancement and that ever so popular G-spot enhancement. This is a nice product for this purpose due to its long-lasting effect and the volume that is provided with only one vial of product.
Another great quality of Radiesse is the lack of down time. In most cases, patients return immediately to their daily routines. With G-spot injection, you may be asked to avoid intercourse anywhere from several hours to 48 hours.
Give one of these products a try and see if you can revive your spirits and your sexuality!
Make an appointment with Aesthetic Specialists of the Palm Beaches for a complimentary consultation. We are happy to assist you with your aesthetic evaluation and treatment.
It is a wonderful product to give volume to the cheeks. The loss of fat in the face is largely responsible for the aged appearance our face may take on with age. Radiesse is a l
onger-lasting, smooth product which can be used for volume replacement.It also can be used for lip enhancement, naso-labial folds, hand enhancement and that ever so popular G-spot enhancement. This is a nice product for this purpose due to its long-lasting effect and the volume that is provided with only one vial of product.
Another great quality of Radiesse is the lack of down time. In most cases, patients return immediately to their daily routines. With G-spot injection, you may be asked to avoid intercourse anywhere from several hours to 48 hours.
Give one of these products a try and see if you can revive your spirits and your sexuality!
Make an appointment with Aesthetic Specialists of the Palm Beaches for a complimentary consultation. We are happy to assist you with your aesthetic evaluation and treatment.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Three Tips to Help You Feel Sexy and Young Again
When you're tired and dragging after a long day, it's hard to get all revved up about spending time with your significant other. But here are some simple ways to help you get in the mood.
1. Do something sexy for you.
Remember the days when you got dressed and did your hair no matter what? Why did you stop? I have heard all the excuses and guess what? They are excuses! Try doing something sexy for you. It can be as simple as purchasing or wearing new, silky underwear or maybe just going commando. You can also try wearing your (and his) favorite perfume -- even if you are just hanging around the house.
2. Get rid of some wrinkles.
There are some inexpensive cosmetic procedures you can have done if you need to feel younger or fresher. Something so simple may make all the difference. Botox is relatively inexpensive. Maybe you only have $200 to spare. Ask your aesthetic specialist for suggestions on what areas can be treated for this amount. Even a moderate reduction in wrinkles can make you feel happier when you look in the mirror.
3. Rejuvenate your appearance.
Dermal fillers can give you a nice, rejuvenated appearance and may last several months. Or maybe a photofacial would give you that little boost of confidence to make you feel young and sexy again.
You may never have considered these options because you don't want people to know. Well....no one has to know. These are all procedures that you can have done without any dramatic change in appearance.
Most likely, people will just tell you that you look rested. That's the best compliment you can get. Furthermore, many of those you think are judging you have done the same procedures themselves. Trust me!
Visit our web site at aestheticspecialists.net for more information.
1. Do something sexy for you.
Remember the days when you got dressed and did your hair no matter what? Why did you stop? I have heard all the excuses and guess what? They are excuses! Try doing something sexy for you. It can be as simple as purchasing or wearing new, silky underwear or maybe just going commando. You can also try wearing your (and his) favorite perfume -- even if you are just hanging around the house.
2. Get rid of some wrinkles.
There are some inexpensive cosmetic procedures you can have done if you need to feel younger or fresher. Something so simple may make all the difference. Botox is relatively inexpensive. Maybe you only have $200 to spare. Ask your aesthetic specialist for suggestions on what areas can be treated for this amount. Even a moderate reduction in wrinkles can make you feel happier when you look in the mirror.
3. Rejuvenate your appearance.
Dermal fillers can give you a nice, rejuvenated appearance and may last several months. Or maybe a photofacial would give you that little boost of confidence to make you feel young and sexy again.
You may never have considered these options because you don't want people to know. Well....no one has to know. These are all procedures that you can have done without any dramatic change in appearance.
Most likely, people will just tell you that you look rested. That's the best compliment you can get. Furthermore, many of those you think are judging you have done the same procedures themselves. Trust me!
Visit our web site at aestheticspecialists.net for more information.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Three Tips to Help When He Wants Sex and You Don't
Enjoy this advice from my guest blogger, Diane Hibbs. Dr. Hibbs is a gynecologist in Phoenix, Az.
Finally! The kids are in bed, the dinner dishes are in the dishwasher, and you have a chance to sit down for the first time all day. Oh no! Here HE comes. Why can’t he just let me have a moment of peace and quiet? Why can’t he understand that I’ve been pulled on and pawed at all day long and the last thing I want right now is HIM thinking it’s his turn! When is it MY turn?
In my busy gynecology practice, one of the things that always slows me down and puts me behind schedule is the young patient with a couple of kids that I’ve delivered who, just as I’m walking out the door after her annual exam, says, “Well, I promised my husband I’d tell you about this…” I always know what’s coming next. "I don’t want sex and he always does."
This happens over and over in my practice. Just to make you feel a little more “normal”, just think of your list of things to do for one day. Whether that list is actually written down or just in your head, it has about 3,427 things on it. And where is “Have sex with my husband”? If it even makes the list, it’s probably not in the top half, for sure.
One thing that makes us a little different than men is our innate ability to multi-task, so as you’re getting ready for bed, you’re still running through your list, mentally checking off what you’ve done and adding things to it.
Now consider your husband’s list. How many things are on his list – especially now that it’s bedtime? ONE – have sex! If he ever even HAD anything else on his list, it is long gone now!
So how do you find a balance between “never” because you just don’t feel like it and “every night” because that’s what HE wants? I’m not going to suggest what the perfect frequency would be. That is definitely a personal choice between the two of you. And I don’t believe you should have sex just because he wants to.
So how can you get back to the point of wanting to? I have three very practical steps to help you.
1. Anticipate the moment.
Remember how it was when you were dating? Think back to one of your special dates in the early stages of your relationship. Remember how exciting it was to think about ALL DAY LONG. That excitement was all built around ANTICIPATION. So the first step to balancing your sex life is to begin to anticipate being with your husband. Now I’m not talking about every single day focusing exclusively on him all day long like you probably did while you were dating. But come up with a scenario in your mind that you can focus on and start to anticipate your time together.
2. Plan something special.
When was the last time you actually spent time alone together? Today, make a plan and put it on your calendar. Start spending time thinking about a date for the two of you. And don’t try to use the most common excuse of no money, because one of my most memorable dates was at a park next to a pond eating cheese and drinking wine on a blanket and watching a sunset. To make it more fun, we used watercolors to paint with each other – and no, we are not artistic; in fact, neither of us had ever done anything like that before. But it was fun and it was special, and it was UNEXPECTED!
3. Read some books on the subject.
Always recommend two books to the patients I see with this complaint. They are both by Laura Corn and I really think she has some great ideas! The first book is called, "The Great American Sex Diet." In this book, Ms. Corn reveals that she herself has suffered from a decreased sex drive and she developed this program to overcome that problem. She then took several couples through the program and this book is the report of all of their experiences. The second book is "101 Great Nights of Sex." This is a very fun, practical book to use together. Each of you tears out a secret mission and you are responsible for carrying it out within a certain time period.
I will add that there are a few things that she suggests that might be considered a little “off”, but if you run into something you wouldn’t be comfortable doing, just skip that one and tear out another one. Sex and intimacy, and more imprtantly, enjoying them, is a choice. Choose your relationship today! Make it your number one priority!
Finally! The kids are in bed, the dinner dishes are in the dishwasher, and you have a chance to sit down for the first time all day. Oh no! Here HE comes. Why can’t he just let me have a moment of peace and quiet? Why can’t he understand that I’ve been pulled on and pawed at all day long and the last thing I want right now is HIM thinking it’s his turn! When is it MY turn?
In my busy gynecology practice, one of the things that always slows me down and puts me behind schedule is the young patient with a couple of kids that I’ve delivered who, just as I’m walking out the door after her annual exam, says, “Well, I promised my husband I’d tell you about this…” I always know what’s coming next. "I don’t want sex and he always does."
This happens over and over in my practice. Just to make you feel a little more “normal”, just think of your list of things to do for one day. Whether that list is actually written down or just in your head, it has about 3,427 things on it. And where is “Have sex with my husband”? If it even makes the list, it’s probably not in the top half, for sure.
One thing that makes us a little different than men is our innate ability to multi-task, so as you’re getting ready for bed, you’re still running through your list, mentally checking off what you’ve done and adding things to it.
Now consider your husband’s list. How many things are on his list – especially now that it’s bedtime? ONE – have sex! If he ever even HAD anything else on his list, it is long gone now!
So how do you find a balance between “never” because you just don’t feel like it and “every night” because that’s what HE wants? I’m not going to suggest what the perfect frequency would be. That is definitely a personal choice between the two of you. And I don’t believe you should have sex just because he wants to.
So how can you get back to the point of wanting to? I have three very practical steps to help you.
1. Anticipate the moment.
Remember how it was when you were dating? Think back to one of your special dates in the early stages of your relationship. Remember how exciting it was to think about ALL DAY LONG. That excitement was all built around ANTICIPATION. So the first step to balancing your sex life is to begin to anticipate being with your husband. Now I’m not talking about every single day focusing exclusively on him all day long like you probably did while you were dating. But come up with a scenario in your mind that you can focus on and start to anticipate your time together.
2. Plan something special.
When was the last time you actually spent time alone together? Today, make a plan and put it on your calendar. Start spending time thinking about a date for the two of you. And don’t try to use the most common excuse of no money, because one of my most memorable dates was at a park next to a pond eating cheese and drinking wine on a blanket and watching a sunset. To make it more fun, we used watercolors to paint with each other – and no, we are not artistic; in fact, neither of us had ever done anything like that before. But it was fun and it was special, and it was UNEXPECTED!
3. Read some books on the subject.
Always recommend two books to the patients I see with this complaint. They are both by Laura Corn and I really think she has some great ideas! The first book is called, "The Great American Sex Diet." In this book, Ms. Corn reveals that she herself has suffered from a decreased sex drive and she developed this program to overcome that problem. She then took several couples through the program and this book is the report of all of their experiences. The second book is "101 Great Nights of Sex." This is a very fun, practical book to use together. Each of you tears out a secret mission and you are responsible for carrying it out within a certain time period.
I will add that there are a few things that she suggests that might be considered a little “off”, but if you run into something you wouldn’t be comfortable doing, just skip that one and tear out another one. Sex and intimacy, and more imprtantly, enjoying them, is a choice. Choose your relationship today! Make it your number one priority!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Comments from a Reader about Lacking Libido
Here is a comment made on one of my posts regarding libido. Thank you. This is just the sort of interaction I hoped for with my blog. Women need to hear from other women (and men) on this sensitive topic. Here is her comment so you don't have to dig throught the posts to find it.
"A book (and author) I often recommend to patients in this situation is "The Great American Sex Diet" by Laura Corn. It talks about some of the same stuff you did and gives the reader a plan (diet) to follow to get things perked up."
Some of you are very good at "following" a plan and less so at planning a strategy of your own. This book is a perfect recipe for you. At the end of the day, it is still in your hands so give it a shot.
"A book (and author) I often recommend to patients in this situation is "The Great American Sex Diet" by Laura Corn. It talks about some of the same stuff you did and gives the reader a plan (diet) to follow to get things perked up."
Some of you are very good at "following" a plan and less so at planning a strategy of your own. This book is a perfect recipe for you. At the end of the day, it is still in your hands so give it a shot.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
The Most Common Questions about G-Spot Injections
I received several e-mails about my last post about G-spot injections. Here are common questions and friends ask me about G spot.
.
Q: Will G -Spot enhancement work for me?
A: G-Spot enhancement is highly effective for most women. It brings the area of the anterior vaginal mucosa to a position that is more acessible by penetration alone.
Q: Is G-Spot enhancement procedure painful?
A: No. The procedure tends to be minimally uncomfortable. You may experience an uncomfortable sensation afterward but this will subside quickly on its own.
Q: Is G-Spot enhancement safe?
A: G-Spot enhancement is safe. In rare instances there may be a reaction to the filler agent. Very rarely there may be bleeding or infection which is easily managed.
Q: How effective is G-Spot enhancement?
A: In most cases the response is very positive with very few exceptions of no significant change in sexual response. I would say that 80 percent of patients experience improved sexual function.
Q: How long will G-Spot enhancement last?
A: The initial G-Spot enhancement injection is expected to last up to four months. If the patients response is positive and she wishes to repeat the procedure, a more lasting filler injection may be used.
Q: Will G-Spot enhancement effect my libido?
A: There is no direct effect on libido. Indirectly, increased sexual satisfaction may lead to a positive sexual attitude and increased sexual appetite.
Q: How long after I receive the injection, when will it become effective?
A: The result is immediate, but we recommend abstinence for 48 hrs following the procedure.
Q: How will G-Spot enhancement effect my orgasm?
A: The enhancement will usually increase the intensity, improve the quality and speed of attaining orgasm and it may actually cause ejaculation.
Q: Will my partner know I enhanced my G-Spot?
A: Your partner may know, if they are looking for it. The enhancement may actually stimulate your partner which has happened with my own patients, particularly in women who have had children previously.
Q: Are there any recovery limitations following the injection?
A: You may resume all usual activities immediately, except sex. We recommend sexual abstinence for 48 hrs following the injection.
Q: Will the doctor prescribe post-operative pain medication?
A: There may be minor discomfort for a brief period following the injection. Pain medication could be provided to ease any discomfort but is generally not necessary.
Q: Who is a candidate for G-Spot enhancement?
A: Any woman who wishes to improve her sexual pleasure.
Q: Who is not a candidate?
A: Women who have no interest in altering their sexuality or who can not tolerate minor surgery.
Q: If I have no sex drive, will G-Spot enhancement help?
A: For sex drive, we sometimes recommend testosterone which is the only proven treatment. Even so, libido is not always an issue so readily fixed with a pill. However, if you are able to love sex intensely, doesn't it stand to reason that you will want it more?
This is one of the simplest and most effective treatments I know. The cost can be as low as $600 and as high as $1000, depending on the amount of product you will require.
.
Q: Will G -Spot enhancement work for me?
A: G-Spot enhancement is highly effective for most women. It brings the area of the anterior vaginal mucosa to a position that is more acessible by penetration alone.
Q: Is G-Spot enhancement procedure painful?
A: No. The procedure tends to be minimally uncomfortable. You may experience an uncomfortable sensation afterward but this will subside quickly on its own.
Q: Is G-Spot enhancement safe?
A: G-Spot enhancement is safe. In rare instances there may be a reaction to the filler agent. Very rarely there may be bleeding or infection which is easily managed.
Q: How effective is G-Spot enhancement?
A: In most cases the response is very positive with very few exceptions of no significant change in sexual response. I would say that 80 percent of patients experience improved sexual function.
Q: How long will G-Spot enhancement last?
A: The initial G-Spot enhancement injection is expected to last up to four months. If the patients response is positive and she wishes to repeat the procedure, a more lasting filler injection may be used.
Q: Will G-Spot enhancement effect my libido?
A: There is no direct effect on libido. Indirectly, increased sexual satisfaction may lead to a positive sexual attitude and increased sexual appetite.
Q: How long after I receive the injection, when will it become effective?
A: The result is immediate, but we recommend abstinence for 48 hrs following the procedure.
Q: How will G-Spot enhancement effect my orgasm?
A: The enhancement will usually increase the intensity, improve the quality and speed of attaining orgasm and it may actually cause ejaculation.
Q: Will my partner know I enhanced my G-Spot?
A: Your partner may know, if they are looking for it. The enhancement may actually stimulate your partner which has happened with my own patients, particularly in women who have had children previously.
Q: Are there any recovery limitations following the injection?
A: You may resume all usual activities immediately, except sex. We recommend sexual abstinence for 48 hrs following the injection.
Q: Will the doctor prescribe post-operative pain medication?
A: There may be minor discomfort for a brief period following the injection. Pain medication could be provided to ease any discomfort but is generally not necessary.
Q: Who is a candidate for G-Spot enhancement?
A: Any woman who wishes to improve her sexual pleasure.
Q: Who is not a candidate?
A: Women who have no interest in altering their sexuality or who can not tolerate minor surgery.
Q: If I have no sex drive, will G-Spot enhancement help?
A: For sex drive, we sometimes recommend testosterone which is the only proven treatment. Even so, libido is not always an issue so readily fixed with a pill. However, if you are able to love sex intensely, doesn't it stand to reason that you will want it more?
This is one of the simplest and most effective treatments I know. The cost can be as low as $600 and as high as $1000, depending on the amount of product you will require.
Three Tips to Help Improve your Sex Drive
Many of you have asked for ways to improve your desire for sex. I have tried to address some of the habit and lifestyle changes you can make but for some that is not so simple. It seems logical to me and experience with patients has taught me that if you enjoy the sexual experience more, you will want it more often. Here are a few suggestions of ways to improve your enjoyment of sex:
1. Eliminate distractions.
Meet your man while the kids are in school over "lunch"
2. Enlist all the senses.
Massage oils, romantic lighting, silk sheets.
3. G-spot enhancement.
This can be key for many women. many women have a G-spot which is recessed behind and above the pubic bone making it less accessible during intercourse. G-spot enhancement involves the injection of fillers into this area to make it mroe accessible. When you hear of women talking about internal versus clitoral orgasm, this is what they are referring to. I have patients who have told me G-spot enhancement has changed their lives.
Make an appointment with Aesthetic Specialists of the Palm Beaches for a consultation.
1. Eliminate distractions.
Meet your man while the kids are in school over "lunch"
2. Enlist all the senses.
Massage oils, romantic lighting, silk sheets.
3. G-spot enhancement.
This can be key for many women. many women have a G-spot which is recessed behind and above the pubic bone making it less accessible during intercourse. G-spot enhancement involves the injection of fillers into this area to make it mroe accessible. When you hear of women talking about internal versus clitoral orgasm, this is what they are referring to. I have patients who have told me G-spot enhancement has changed their lives.
Make an appointment with Aesthetic Specialists of the Palm Beaches for a consultation.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Acting like You're in the Mood Can Help You Get in the Mood
Here is the thing. I recognized anew today that we can create in ourselves whatever emotion or desire we choose. Have you ever woken up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning with no idea why? Well, what I do in these situations is to make myself smile and say a cheerful "hello" to the first few people I see. And guess what? My mood changes and I feel happy.
Can't the same be true of sex? Even if you do not feel sexy or in the mood, act like you are and you WILL BE! It is such a simple concept in theory but, for whatever reason, it is difficult to put into practice. Perhaps the key word here is practice.
Some may wonder why I put so much time into this one topic. The answer is simple. I speak to women in my gynecologic practice every day, and this is the subject they bring up to me more than any other.
I often think about ways I can help them but, in truth, they must help themselves. I simply hope to give them the awareness of the power they have to change this part of their lives. It is a choice ladies.
Can't the same be true of sex? Even if you do not feel sexy or in the mood, act like you are and you WILL BE! It is such a simple concept in theory but, for whatever reason, it is difficult to put into practice. Perhaps the key word here is practice.
Some may wonder why I put so much time into this one topic. The answer is simple. I speak to women in my gynecologic practice every day, and this is the subject they bring up to me more than any other.
I often think about ways I can help them but, in truth, they must help themselves. I simply hope to give them the awareness of the power they have to change this part of their lives. It is a choice ladies.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Lost your Libido? Tips to Get Back into the Mood for Sex
As a gynecologist, I have an opportunity to talk to patients about very sensitive issues. Today, libido was the subject of two patient visits. (Some days, it is more.)
I had two patients -- one in her 30's and one in her late 40's -- with the same issue: Libido lost. These ladies are both committed to their husbands and to their marriages but neither one has the urge for sex.
I spent some time talking to these ladies about this issue. In both cases, we came to the same conclusion. Make time for sex. JUST DO IT!! No more excuses.
It is time to regain control of your life (and your sex life). How many of you schedule a yoga class, a spin class, spa days? Well........is it too much to ask you to put the same time into the most precious of all your relationships?
Ask yourself this most important question first. Do you still love him? If the answer is yes, then prove it. That's right, prove it. Men are simple beasts. They equate sex with how much you love him. Give them "luv and grub" and they are good to go. (True or not, guys?)
Now, there are those people (although few) who have low testosterone levels. In the same way that this reduces a man's sexual drive, it can reduce a woman's drive. One of my patients today was just such a case. She was on testosterone and felt a definite improvement in her libido. She has now weaned off and has low normal testosterone levels. Her libido is now down again.
The good thing about her is that she is aware that she has not given enough effort to her sexual relationship. She says she feels like a "prude". We spoke about this and agree that this is a CHOICE. You can choose to practice not being a prude. Here are some tips to help.
1. Take some chances.
Go to the adult toy store with your man, fondle him in public (but be sure no one is watching), take a pole dance class.
Remember, life is about baby steps. You can't change your habits over night. And it is a habit. You are in the habit of being a prude. Life is short. You are wasting your precious time and the time of your beloved man. If anyone has some ideas on how to "spice it up", they are welcome here.
2. Consider therapy.
If you feel that your issues with sex are about your own inhibitions or "prudishness", maybe you should start out going to therapy alone then bring your man in for later sessions. If the issues are due to marital concerns, poor communication, etc. .....make it a couple's session from the beginning.
Let's hear some more thoughts on this sensitive issue, and we will address solutions in more detail later.
I had two patients -- one in her 30's and one in her late 40's -- with the same issue: Libido lost. These ladies are both committed to their husbands and to their marriages but neither one has the urge for sex.
I spent some time talking to these ladies about this issue. In both cases, we came to the same conclusion. Make time for sex. JUST DO IT!! No more excuses.
It is time to regain control of your life (and your sex life). How many of you schedule a yoga class, a spin class, spa days? Well........is it too much to ask you to put the same time into the most precious of all your relationships?
Ask yourself this most important question first. Do you still love him? If the answer is yes, then prove it. That's right, prove it. Men are simple beasts. They equate sex with how much you love him. Give them "luv and grub" and they are good to go. (True or not, guys?)
Now, there are those people (although few) who have low testosterone levels. In the same way that this reduces a man's sexual drive, it can reduce a woman's drive. One of my patients today was just such a case. She was on testosterone and felt a definite improvement in her libido. She has now weaned off and has low normal testosterone levels. Her libido is now down again.
The good thing about her is that she is aware that she has not given enough effort to her sexual relationship. She says she feels like a "prude". We spoke about this and agree that this is a CHOICE. You can choose to practice not being a prude. Here are some tips to help.
1. Take some chances.
Go to the adult toy store with your man, fondle him in public (but be sure no one is watching), take a pole dance class.
Remember, life is about baby steps. You can't change your habits over night. And it is a habit. You are in the habit of being a prude. Life is short. You are wasting your precious time and the time of your beloved man. If anyone has some ideas on how to "spice it up", they are welcome here.
2. Consider therapy.
If you feel that your issues with sex are about your own inhibitions or "prudishness", maybe you should start out going to therapy alone then bring your man in for later sessions. If the issues are due to marital concerns, poor communication, etc. .....make it a couple's session from the beginning.
Let's hear some more thoughts on this sensitive issue, and we will address solutions in more detail later.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Three Reasons Women Lose their Libido
Ok ladies. Are you "over" men telling you that you are abnormal because you have no libido? Well, to you and all those men…….STOP!
Libido for women is a complicated beast. The sexual experience for women requires a balance between the emotional and the physical that can not be so readily explained.
In my practice, the most common denominator I see in women having sexual issues relating to libido is length of time in the relationship. Combine this with factors such as motherhood and menopause and you have the top three reasons women may experience a reduction in their sexual drive. After a day of cooking, cleaning, carpools, work, homework, and grocery shopping………who wants to “do it”!?
Ladies, do you think it abnormal if , after such a day, you do not wish to run on the treadmill or lift a few weights? No? I think not. It is time to adjust your thinking.
What about you, our dear men? After a hard day at work and putting the kids to bed, do you jump on the stairmaster for a round of cardio? No? Perhaps you should see your doctor because surely you are abnormal.
How do we fix it?
Well.............stay tuned but please share your thoughts!
Dr. Kelly
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